Heartache

Some things have happened personally that I cannot share but suffice it to say my heart is broken for the people involved.  And then I start the questions- God you could have stopped this- why didn't you?  What lessons are you teaching ME through this?  What can I do?  and on and on they go.  In the midst of this I was listening to my ipod and heard this song by Britt Nicole.  She has a unique music style that isn't for everyone and she happens to fit in well with my running playlist so I like her but this song just says it all...

Waiting is hard...

Psalm 130:5-6a
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord." (ESV)

One simple sentence with so much packed into it!

Waiting is so hard- waiting for the first day of school, a birthday, a package, waiting for a spouse to come into your life, waiting to see Jesus, etc. Regardless of who you are- waiting is hard.  To wait involves patience- and the not knowing.  I think that's the hardest thing for me- the not knowing- when will it end?  When will my prayer be answered?  And yet, through it all- I find HOPE.  Hope that He is truth, that his word, his promises will not return void, that I can trust and rest- dependent on Him.

Three times in the verse waiting is mentioned.  I have always been told if something is repeated three times it's extremely important and I need to take notice.  It doesn't mean it's going to be easy but it does mean that "something" will happen during the waiting and at the end of the waiting.

So, even though it's hard- still I wait...in hopeful expectation.

Blank Slate

I have been back to work for a week now, and today (Tuesday) was the first day for students (however, mine actually start on Wednesday).  This year promises to be challenging, stressful, fun, exciting, interesting, crazy, and so much more but the biggest thing that I have focused on this past week?  This year is a blank slate- we start fresh with new students and new mindsets.  The challenge is to remember that every DAY is a blank slate.  It's like that in my spiritual life also- there are days that are challenging, stressful, fun, etc.  There are obstacles in the way- there always will be but the Word says it all in Lamentations 3:

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lamentations 3:21-25 (ESV)

I have decided that this passage is my theme verse for this school year.  To remember that his mercies are new every morning, that HE is my portion, and above all- where my hope should be.  My prayer is that this verse becomes ingrained in my heart and therefore in my life and my mind as well.  That I live this verse "out loud" on a daily basis- that I live it from "the inside out".

A Grieving Heart

I have been praying and pondering how to say what I want to say regarding this subject.  I finally hit upon it today while running some errands and listening to the radio.  A song that I have heard several times played today but today it struck a chord.  Before I go into that let me just say this- I have struggled because while we live in a country that supposedly values free speech I have felt that this situation has shown some of the double standard that is out there today.

Okay, here are my thoughts:

I think the Jesus that I love and serve would be grieved over the words and actions of what Christians today are saying and doing.  I'm not referring to Mr. Cathy.  I am referring to those who call themselves believers in response to those who don't agree with Mr. Cathy.  I have seen hate, contempt, and judgement spewed on comments left on articles, on Facebook and in various other places.  Bottom line, IF you are a believer and read the same Bible that I read, we are ALL sinners in need of grace- none of us are better than another and the only difference between myself and a non-believer is that I have chosen to accept Christ's forgiveness and salvation.  There's an old camp song that says- "They'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, oh they'll know we are Christians by our love."   So, maybe, the way to end the condemnation, the hate that is being spread is to love, just love!

Oh, and the song?  Here you go:

Struggling...

Just struggling right now- off my routine and it has totally thrown me for a loop- one good thing about school starting soon?  My schedule will have normalcy to it!

What was Judas thinking??

I know that question conjures up the thought of his betrayal and yes, this sort of covers that- but THAT is greed- pure and simple.  And really, who has not been overtaken by greed somewhere along the line in their life.  But, no, this goes to John 13.  This morning I read this passage of Jesus washing the disciples' feet.  It was interesting to read the reaction of Peter and his responses but then I got to wondering- what about Judas?.  Here he is listening to Jesus talk about why he was washing feet and how that was what they were to do to others in order to serve- so, what was he thinking?  He had already decided to betray Jesus and here he is listening to Jesus tell that he KNEW who was going to betray him!  Was he thinking- I need to run and just get it done?  What am I doing?  about the money?  Did any thoughts of guilt or remorse about what he was going to do enter into his mind and heart at all?  I just can't help but wonder- what was Judas thinking?

Checking things off

I have been able to do at least one or two things on my list already- however, I am addressing one that will take me through the whole year- reading a book a week.  Last week I was "at home" in Indiana (you know- it's funny, when I am in TN then IN is home but when I am in IN then TN is home- so strange how that works).  Anyway, after my dad posted THIS BLOG back in January I requested to read the book I Am Second.  He sent it to me within a couple of weeks and I just now had a chance to read it- this book was a really good book.  .I laughed and cried, my heart ached for the hurt of others and rejoiced in their joy.  I am a regular watcher of Biggest Loser so the story of Michelle Aguilar was one that I watched unfold on tv.  I actually have her book on the Kindle app on my iphone to read and now it has become a MUST READ.  I am looking forward to spending some time this summer watching the videos on the I Am Second website but I leave you with this:

Seconds - I Am Second